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The news about former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry
Sandusky’s alleged sexual abuse of young boys is sickening and scary.
And sadly, it’s not uncommon. But instead of pulling the covers over our
heads, we can use news like this as an opportunity to learn about the
signs of abuse so we can prevent it from happening again. There are
things we can do to keep our children safe. Keep reading for tips that
can strengthen our kids, our families, and our communities against the
threat of pedophiles.
Having “The Talk”
You
don't have to scare your children in order to keep them safe. Teaching
them the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching will
go a long way in protecting them from predators. As early as age 3,
children should understand that parts of their body are private and that
it's not okay for just anyone to touch them. Here are some things to
keep in mind as you start the conversation.
Start simple. There's
no need to go into the mechanics of how babies are made; keep the birds
and the bees conversation separate from the one about "okay" and "not
okay" touching. After all, pedophilia is not about sex as much as it's
about abuse. Ease into it by explaining how certain parts of their body,
those covered by a swimsuit, are private. No one should touch them
there except for Mommy and Daddy (or primary caregiver) when they're
being cleaned—and the doctor, too, but only if Mom or Dad is there in
the room. Don’t go into a whole "some people are bad and do things that
hurt kids" explanation; just focus on appropriate and inappropriate
behavior.
Use real names for body parts. Avoid
calling your child’s private parts by cutesy, made-up names. “It makes
kids think that there is something weird or shameful about their bodies,
and they’ll be less likely to tell you if someone touches them,” says
Sharon W. Doty, author of Keeping Them Safe: Protecting Children from Sexual Predators and Evil in Our Midst: Protecting Children from Sexual Predators. Use “penis,” “testicles,” “vulva,” “vagina,” and “breasts” instead.
Think beyond “stranger danger.”
Instructing your child to never talk to strangers is good advice. But
the truth is, 80 to 90 percent of abuse is committed not by strangers
but by someone the child knows well—and possibly loves. “Abduction is a
lesser concern,” says Char Rivette, executive director of the Chicago
Children’s Advocacy Center. “You have to worry more about who your child
spends time with on daily basis.”
Don’t keep secrets.
Sex abusers almost always manipulate the children they molest through
secrets. They’ll tell kids, “This is our secret. You can’t tell your mom
because she’ll be very mad at you.” Remind your child frequently that
no adult should ever ask her to keep secrets. And that includes you. “If
you keep a secret with your child, it confuses the message that it’s
not okay for other grown-ups to do,” says Rivette.
Believe your child.
Establish a relationship of faith and trust with your kids. If you’re
constantly questioning what they say, they may be more reluctant to tell
you if something has happened to them. When you’re talking about
inappropriate touching, let them know—explicitly—that you will believe
them and that you will never be mad.
Warning Signs and Risk Factors for Abuse
You
can’t drive yourself crazy being suspicious of every adult that comes
into contact with your child, but since abuse often follows the same
pattern, there are some warning signs you should be familiar with.
Know what to look for.
No one wants to be suspicious of their own friends and family members.
But you don’t have to be if you’re familiar with the most common red
flags of a pedophile: - Prefers spending most of his or her time with children over peers - Allows children to do things that their parents don’t allow - Makes fun of children’s body parts or describes children with sexual words such as “stud” or “sexy” - Seems obsessed with the sexual activities of teens and kids - Asks adult partners to dress or act like a child or teen during sexual activity - Looks frequently at child pornography - Masturbates so often that it gets in the way of important day-to-day activities
- Has put themselves in a position of dealing with children (coach,
teacher, counselor, etc.), in addition to other troubling signs
Be suspicious if your child is singled out as “special.”
It’s always flattering when a teacher, coach, or counselor recognizes
all the wonderful qualities your child possesses and seems to favor him
or her over other kids. But this can be a major warning sign.
“Perpetrators groom kids by singling them out and making them feel
special,” says Rivette. True professionals are not so transparent about
preferences.
Be extremely wary of one-on-one time.
Once a pedophile has singled out a particular child, the next step is
getting that child alone. The perpetrator may suggest private tutoring
time, one-on-one tennis lessons, or even sleepovers or camping trips.
As flattering as it may seem or as excited as your child may be, don’t
allow this private time.
Don’t ignore family history.
“Abuse tends to be intergenerational,” says Rivette. “If you have a
history of sexual abuse in your family, your child may be more likely to
be a victim.”
Choose your child’s own male role models. Many
child sex abusers prey on the kids of single mothers, who may be more
anxious for a male figure in their lives (and 95 percent of all
perpetrators are male). These men also take advantage of the fact that a
single mother likely has less time and less help, and may welcome
someone who offers to babysit or help out.
Don’t take sleepovers lightly.
As parents, we’re used to making sleepover plans with our kids’
friends’ families on the fly. But Rivette warns that we shouldn’t be so
casual when it comes to where our children spend the night. “Don’t allow
a sleepover unless you know the family well and have been to their home
many times. Ask exactly who will be there and what they will be doing.
If anything strikes you as odd, trust your instinct.”
Evaluating a Program for Safety
How
can you make sure that sports team or after-school club you’re signing
your kid up for has done everything it can to weed out potential
abusers?
Ask about background checks. Most
schools and youth organizations conduct criminal background checks, but
they may not screen for child abuse and neglect. Encourage them to do
so. (And even if the school/program says they screened everyone, ask if
they checked fingerprints.) Also, you should ask: do employees receive
training in child-abuse prevention?
Meet everyone who will be working with your child. Often,
we’ll meet the head counselor of a camp, but not the possibly dozens of
other counselors and instructors who will be with your child on a daily
basis. Make it a point to ask the program director to introduce you to
all of the employees. Besides getting to know them, you send predators
the message that you are a parent who pays attention. “Sex abusers don’t
choose kids whose parents are very involved,” says Rivette.
If You Suspect Abuse
We
hope you never have to have this conversation, but if you have a bad
feeling that your child might have been abused, there are steps you
should take.
Ask questions. To encourage your
child to talk, simple, open-ended queries such as “What’s the best thing
about going to Sam’s house?” or “What’s the worst thing about going to
his house?” help open up discussion, says Doty. You can also preface a
conversation with something that gives the child some freedom. For
example, you might say, “I remember once I did something that I thought
my Dad and Mom would be upset about, so I didn’t want to tell them. But I
finally did tell them and it was okay. Has anything like that happened
to you?”
Look for changes in your child. Signs that something might be going on:
- Sexual behavior that is way beyond their years (a 4-year-old
imitating sexual humping, for example, or using R-rated words for body
parts that they’ve never used before) - Regressive behavior (acting much younger than they are) - Increased dependency on non-abusing adults - Withdrawal and isolation from others - Increased aggressiveness or hostility - Sudden fear of the dark - Frequent nightmares - Changes in sleep (either insomnia or increased sleeping)
Act quickly. If you suspect something, stop all contact between your child and the person, then call your state’s children’s protective services hotline.
The hotline professionals may also instruct you to call 911, as well.
Don’t confront the suspect, as that only gives them time to mount a
defense. If you’re unsure if anything has happened and worried about
slandering a possibly innocent person’s name, “always err on the side of
protecting kids,” advises.
You probably heard it from your own parents: Breakfast is the most
important meal of the day. But now you're the one saying it — to your
sleepy, frazzled, grumpy kids, who insist "I'm not hungry" as you try to
get everyone fed and moving in the morning.
Even if you eat a healthy morning meal every day, it can be tough to
get kids fueled up in time for school, childcare, or a day of play. But
it's important to try. Here's how to make breakfast more appealing for
everyone.
Why Bother With Breakfast?
Breakfast is a great way to give the body the refueling it needs.
Kids who eat breakfast tend to eat healthier overall and are more likely
to participate in physical activities — two great ways to help maintain
a healthy weight.
Skipping breakfast can make kids feel tired, restless, or irritable.
In the morning, their bodies need to refuel for the day ahead after
going without food for 8 to 12 hours during sleep. Their mood and energy
can drop by midmorning if they don't eat at least a small morning meal.
Breakfast also can help keep kids' weight in check. Breakfast
kick-starts the body's metabolism, the process by which the body
converts the fuel in food to energy. And when the metabolism gets
moving, the body starts burning calories.
Also, people who don't eat breakfast often consume more calories
throughout the day and are more likely to be overweight. That's because
someone who skips breakfast is likely to get famished before lunchtime
and snack on high-calorie foods or overeat at lunch.
Breakfast Brain Power
It's important for kids to have breakfast every day, but what
they eat in the morning is crucial too. Choosing breakfast foods that
are rich in whole grains, fiber, and protein while low in added sugar
may boost kids' attention span, concentration, and memory — which they
need to learn in school.
Kids who eat breakfast are more likely to get fiber, calcium, and
other important nutrients. They also tend to keep their weight under
control, have lower blood cholesterol levels and fewer absences from
school, and make fewer trips to the school nurse with stomach complaints
related to hunger.
Making Breakfast Happen
It would be great to serve whole-grain waffles, fresh fruit, and
low-fat milk each morning. But it can be difficult to make a healthy
breakfast happen when you're rushing to get yourself and the kids ready
in the morning and juggling the general household chaos.
So try these practical suggestions to ensure that — even in a rush — your kids get a good breakfast before they're out the door:
stock your kitchen with healthy breakfast options
prepare as much as you can the night before (gets dishes and utensils ready, cut up fruit, etc.)
get everyone up 10 minutes earlier
let kids help plan and prepare breakfast
have grab-and-go alternatives (fresh fruit, individual boxes of
cereal, yogurt or smoothies, trail-mix) on days when there is little or
no time to eat
If kids aren't hungry first thing in the morning, be sure to pack a
breakfast that they can eat a little later on the bus or between
classes. Fresh fruit, cereal, nuts, or half a peanut butter and banana
sandwich are nutritious, easy to make, and easy for kids to take along.
You may also want to check out the breakfasts offered at school or
daycare. Some offer breakfasts and provide them for free or at reduced
prices for families with limited incomes. If your kids eat breakfast
outside the home, talk with them about how to make healthy selections.
What not to serve for breakfast is important too.
Sure, toaster pastries and some breakfast bars are portable, easy, and
appealing to kids. But many have no more nutritional value than a candy
bar and are high in sugar and calories. Read the nutrition labels
carefully before you toss these breakfast bars and pastries into your
shopping cart.
Breakfast Ideas to Try
The morning meal doesn't have to be all about traditional breakfast
items. You can mix it up to include different foods, even the leftovers
from last night's dinner, and still provide the nutrients and energy
kids need for the day.
Try to serve a balanced breakfast that includes some carbohydrates,
protein, and fiber. Carbs are a good source of immediate energy for the
body. Energy from protein tends to kick in after the carbs are used up.
Fiber helps provide a feeling of fullness and, therefore, discourages
overeating. And when combined with adequate liquid consumption, fiber
helps move food through the digestive system, preventing constipation
and lowering cholesterol.
Good sources of these nutrients include:
carbohydrates: whole-grain cereals, brown rice, whole-grain breads and muffins, fruits, vegetables
protein: low-fat or nonfat dairy products, lean meats, eggs, nuts (including nut butters), seeds, and cooked dried beans
fiber: whole-grain breads, waffles, and cereals; brown rice, bran, and other grains; fruits, vegetables, beans, and nuts
Here are some ideas for healthy breakfasts to try:
whole-grain cereal topped with fruit and low-fat yogurt
whole-grain waffles topped with peanut butter, fruit, or ricotta cheese
whole-wheat pita stuffed with sliced hard-cooked eggs
hot cereal topped with cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, or cloves
peanut butter on a whole-grain bagel with fresh fruit (banana or apple wedges) and low-fat milk
breakfast smoothie (low-fat milk or yogurt, fruit, and teaspoon of bran, whirled in a blender)
vegetable omelet with whole-wheat toast and orange juice
bran muffin and yogurt with berries
hummus on whole-wheat pita and milk
lean turkey on a toasted English muffin and vegetable juice
heated leftover rice with chopped apples, nuts, and cinnamon, plus fruit juice
low-fat cream cheese and fresh fruit, such as sliced strawberries, on whole-grain bread or a whole-grain bagel
shredded cheese on a whole-wheat tortilla, folded in half and microwaved for 20 seconds and topped with salsa
And don't forget how important your good example is. Let your kids
see you making time to enjoy breakfast every day. Even if you just wash
down some whole-wheat toast and a banana with a glass of juice or milk,
you're showing how important it is to face the day only after refueling
your brain and body with a healthy morning meal.
If you are concerned about keeping your child safe from sexual abuse,
this is your chance to create a safer environment and a support network
for everyone in your family. Youngsters are immediately safer when
parents and caregivers take the time to learn about sexual abuse and its
warning signs.
We talk about risk factors – what puts someone at risk to sexually
abuse a child but we must also talk about protective factors – the
things a family can do to keep the family safer. Protective factors are
the building blocks of your family.
Parents and caregivers who make a commitment to speak up as soon as
they have a concern, instead of waiting for certain evidence of harm,
play an even more crucial role in a child's safety. Here are some things
that you and your family can do to protect children from sexual abuse:
Know the signs
“Warning sign” is really just another way of saying “opportunity for
prevention” – a chance for caring adults to recognise possible risk and
to take action to protect children.
Remember, the most effective prevention takes place before there’s a child victim to heal or an offender to punish.
Open lines of communication
Whether talking with a child, adolescent, or adult, about sexualised
behaviours or your concerns, the conversation is just a beginning and
not a one-time event.
Let everyone in the family know it is OK to ask questions. It is
important for adults to set the tone for everyone by talking about the
range of healthy sexual behaviours and speaking up about sexual abuse.
The NSPCC has developed a guide for parents and carers to use with
children to help keep them safe. The Underwear Rule teaches children
that their body belongs to them,they have a right to say no, and that
they should tell an adult if they’re upset or worried. Download - the guide for adults. Download – the guide for adults to use with children.
Using some of our suggested books to read with children can
help you start some really important conversations. However, before you
read them with your child read them through yourself first, so that you
can judge if the information is appropriate for your child and so you
are familiar with the story. Finally, see these stories as a springboard
to further conversation, discussion and continued teaching and
learning. Find the list here.
Educate everyone in the family
Understand healthy sexual development in children as well as the
sexual behaviours that may be of concern to you as a parent/carer.
Learn the warning signs of a child who may have been hurt by sexual
abuse as well as the warning signs in an adult, adolescent or child who
may be touching a child in a sexual way. Your concerns may be about
non-touching behaviours as well (e.g. showing pornography to a child).
Teach children the proper names for body parts and what to do if
someone tries to touch them in a sexual way. Remember to let young
children know that no one has the right to touch their private parts
(unless for medical reasons) and that they should not touch anyone
else’s private parts.
Set clear family boundaries
Talk about and set clear family boundaries with family members and
with other adults who spend time around or supervise the children (e.g.,
if a child does not want to hug or kiss someone hello or goodbye then
he or she can shake hands instead).
If a child is not comfortable with a particular adult or older child
then you or some other adult must let that person know (e.g., tell him
or her that you don’t want your child to sit on his/her lap).
As a child matures, boundaries within the home may need to change as
well (e.g., knock on the door before entering the room of an
adolescent).
Get safe adults involved
Be sure that no one in your family is isolated. Identify one or more support people for every member of the family.
Research shows that one of the key factors in a child’s resilience
(ability to bounce back after stressful events) is that he/she had
someone to talk with and confide in. Be a safe, responsible and
consistent resource person for a child or adolescent.
If someone is “too good to be true” then ask more questions – this
friend or family member may not be a safe person for your child.
Unfortunately, unconditional trust cannot protect children from harm.
Take sensible precautions with who has access to your children
Be aware of who is paying attention to your children and who their friends are.
Don’t ignore any unease you feel about people showing interest in your child.
Know your local resources and how to access them.
Learn about the agencies in your area. Know who to call to make a report if you learn that a child has been sexually abused.
Seek help and advice - you are not alone
If you are concerned about the sexualised behaviours in a parent,
cousin, sibling, friend, or neighbour, care enough to talk with them. If
you are concerned about your own thoughts and feelings towards
children, help is available.
Make sure everyone knows that it’s OK to talk with you about what may
have already happened – that you love them and will help them. For
additional resources or for advice on developing your Family Safety Plan, call our Helpline on 0808 1000 900.
You can learn more about family safety and protecting children from
harm by taking part in our learning seminars, follow this link to
find out about our parent training sessions.
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Signs, Symptoms, and Help for Drug Problems and Substance Abuse
Some people are able to use recreational or prescription drugs
without ever experiencing negative consequences or addiction. For many
others, substance use can cause problems at work, home, school, and in
relationships, leaving you feeling isolated, helpless, or ashamed. If you’re worried about your own or a friend or
family member’s drug use, it’s important to know that help is available.
Learning about the nature of drug abuse and addiction—how it develops,
what it looks like, and why it can have such a powerful hold—will give
you a better understanding of the problem and how to best deal with it.
Understanding drug use, drug abuse, and addiction
People experiment with drugs for many different
reasons. Many first try drugs out of curiosity, to have a good time,
because friends are doing it, or in an effort to improve athletic
performance or ease another problem, such as stress, anxiety, or
depression. Use doesn’t automatically lead to abuse, and there is no
specific level at which drug use moves from casual to problematic. It
varies by individual. Drug abuse and addiction is less about the amount
of substance consumed or the frequency, and more to do with the consequences
of drug use. No matter how often or how little you’re consuming, if
your drug use is causing problems in your life—at work, school, home,
or in your relationships—you likely have a drug abuse or addiction
problem.
Why do some drug users become addicted, while others don’t?
As with many other conditions and diseases,
vulnerability to addiction differs from person to person. Your genes,
mental health, family and social environment all play a role in
addiction. Risk factors that increase your vulnerability include:
Family history of addiction
Abuse, neglect, or other traumatic experiences in childhood
Mental disorders such as depression and anxiety
Early use of drugs
Method of administration—smoking or injecting a drug may increase its addictive potential
Drug addiction and the brain
Addiction is a complex disorder characterized by
compulsive drug use. While each drug produces different physical
effects, all abused substances share one thing in common: repeated use
can alter the way the brain looks and functions.
Taking a recreational drug causes a surge in
levels of dopamine in your brain, which trigger feelings of pleasure.
Your brain remembers these feelings and wants them repeated.
If you become addicted, the substance takes on the same significance as other survival behaviors, such as eating and drinking.
Changes in your brain interfere with your ability
to think clearly, exercise good judgment, control your behavior, and
feel normal without drugs.
Whether you’re addicted to inhalants, heroin,
Xanax, speed, or Vicodin, the uncontrollable craving to use grows more
important than anything else, including family, friends, career, and
even your own health and happiness.
The urge to use is so strong that your mind finds
many ways to deny or rationalize the addiction. You may drastically
underestimate the quantity of drugs you’re taking, how much it impacts
your life, and the level of control you have over your drug use.
How drug abuse and addiction can develop
People who experiment with drugs continue to use them
because the substance either makes them feel good, or stops them from
feeling bad. In many cases, however, there is a fine line between
regular use and drug abuse and addiction. Very few addicts are able to
recognize when they have crossed that line. While frequency or the
amount of drugs consumed don’t in themselves constitute drug abuse or
addiction, they can often be indicators of drug-related problems.
Problems can sometimes sneak up on you,
as your drug use gradually increases over time. Smoking a joint with
friends at the weekend, or taking ecstasy at a rave, or cocaine at an
occasional party, for example, can change to using drugs a couple of
days a week, then every day. Gradually, getting and using the drug
becomes more and more important to you.
If the drug fulfills a valuable need, you
may find yourself increasingly relying on it. For example, you may
take drugs to calm you if you feel anxious or stressed, energize you if
you feel depressed, or make you more confident in social situations if
you normally feel shy. Or you may have started using prescription
drugs to cope with panic attacks or relieve chronic pain, for example.
Until you find alternative, healthier methods for overcoming these
problems, your drug use will likely continue.
Similarly, if you use drugs to fill a void in your life,
you’re more at risk of crossing the line from casual use to drug abuse
and addiction. To maintain healthy balance in your life, you need to
have other positive experiences, to feel good in your life aside from
any drug use.
As drug abuse takes hold, you
may miss or frequently be late for work or school, your job performance
may progressively deteriorate, and you start to neglect social or
family obligations. Your ability to stop using is eventually
compromised. What began as a voluntary choice has turned into a
physical and psychological need.
The good news is that with the right treatment and
support, you can counteract the disruptive effects of drug use and
regain control of your life. The first obstacle is to recognize and
admit you have a problem, or listen to loved ones who are often better
able to see the negative effects drug use is having on your life.
5 Myths about Drug Abuse and Addiction
MYTH 1: Overcoming addiction is a simply a matter of willpower. You can stop using drugs if you really want to. Prolonged
exposure to drugs alters the brain in ways that result in powerful
cravings and a compulsion to use. These brain changes make it extremely
difficult to quit by sheer force of will. MYTH 2: Addiction is a disease; there’s nothing you can do about it. Most
experts agree that addiction is a brain disease, but that doesn’t mean
you’re a helpless victim. The brain changes associated with addiction
can be treated and reversed through therapy, medication, exercise, and
other treatments. MYTH 3: Addicts have to hit rock bottom before they can get better. Recovery
can begin at any point in the addiction process—and the earlier, the
better. The longer drug abuse continues, the stronger the addiction
becomes and the harder it is to treat. Don’t wait to intervene until
the addict has lost it all. MYTH 4: You can’t force someone into treatment; they have to want help.
Treatment doesn’t have to be voluntary to be successful. People who
are pressured into treatment by their family, employer, or the legal
system are just as likely to benefit as those who choose to enter
treatment on their own. As they sober up and their thinking clears, many
formerly resistant addicts decide they want to change. MYTH 5: Treatment didn’t work before, so there’s no point trying again. Recovery
from drug addiction is a long process that often involves setbacks.
Relapse doesn’t mean that treatment has failed or that you’re a lost
cause. Rather, it’s a signal to get back on track, either by going back
to treatment or adjusting the treatment approach.
Signs and symptoms of drug abuse and drug addiction
Although different drugs have different physical
effects, the symptoms of addiction are similar. See if you recognize
yourself in the following signs and symptoms of substance abuse and
addiction. If so, consider talking to someone about your drug use.
Common signs and symptoms of drug abuse
You’re neglecting your responsibilities at school, work, or home (e.g. flunking classes, skipping work, neglecting your children) because of your drug use.
You’re using drugs under dangerous conditions or taking risks while high, such as driving while on drugs, using dirty needles, or having unprotected sex.
Your drug use is getting you into legal trouble, such as arrests for disorderly conduct, driving under the influence, or stealing to support a drug habit.
Your drug use is causing problems in your relationships, such as fights with your partner or family members, an unhappy boss, or the loss of old friends.
Common signs and symptoms of drug addiction
You’ve built up a drug tolerance. You need to use more of the drug to experience the same effects you used to attain with smaller amounts.
You take drugs to avoid or relieve withdrawal symptoms. If
you go too long without drugs, you experience symptoms such as nausea,
restlessness, insomnia, depression, sweating, shaking, and anxiety.
You’ve lost control over your drug use. You
often do drugs or use more than you planned, even though you told
yourself you wouldn’t. You may want to stop using, but you feel
powerless.
Your life revolves around drug use. You spend a lot of time using and thinking about drugs, figuring out how to get them, and recovering from the drug’s effects.
You’ve abandoned activities you used to enjoy, such as hobbies, sports, and socializing, because of your drug use.
You continue to use drugs, despite knowing it’s hurting you. It’s causing major problems in your life—blackouts, infections, mood swings, depression, paranoia—but you use anyway.
Warning signs that a friend or family member is abusing drugs
Drug abusers often try to conceal their symptoms and
downplay their problem. If you’re worried that a friend or family member
might be abusing drugs, look for the following warning signs:
Physical warning signs of drug abuse
Bloodshot eyes, pupils larger or smaller than usual
Changes in appetite or sleep patterns. Sudden weight loss or weight gain
Deterioration of physical appearance, personal grooming habits
Unusual smells on breath, body, or clothing
Tremors, slurred speech, or impaired coordination
Behavioral signs of drug abuse
Drop in attendance and performance at work or school
Unexplained need for money or financial problems. May borrow or steal to get it.
Engaging in secretive or suspicious behaviors
Sudden change in friends, favorite hangouts, and hobbies
Frequently getting into trouble (fights, accidents, illegal activities)
Psychological warning signs of drug abuse
Unexplained change in personality or attitude
Sudden mood swings, irritability, or angry outbursts
Periods of unusual hyperactivity, agitation, or giddiness
Lack of motivation; appears lethargic or “spaced out”
Appears fearful, anxious, or paranoid, with no reason
Warning Signs of Commonly Abused Drugs
Marijuana: Glassy, red eyes;
loud talking, inappropriate laughter followed by sleepiness; loss of
interest, motivation; weight gain or loss.
Stimulants(including amphetamines, cocaine, crystal meth):
Dilated pupils; hyperactivity; euphoria; irritability; anxiety;
excessive talking followed by depression or excessive sleeping at odd
times; may go long periods of time without eating or sleeping; weight
loss; dry mouth and nose.
Inhalants (glues, aerosols, vapors): Watery
eyes; impaired vision, memory and thought; secretions from the nose or
rashes around the nose and mouth; headaches and nausea; appearance of
intoxication; drowsiness; poor muscle control; changes in appetite;
anxiety; irritability; lots of cans/aerosols in the trash.
Hallucinogens (LSD, PCP):Dilated
pupils; bizarre and irrational behavior including paranoia,
aggression, hallucinations; mood swings; detachment from people;
absorption with self or other objects, slurred speech; confusion.
Heroin: Contracted pupils; no
response of pupils to light; needle marks; sleeping at unusual times;
sweating; vomiting; coughing, sniffling; twitching; loss of appetite.
Warning signs of teen drug abuse
While experimenting with drugs doesn’t automatically
lead to drug abuse, early use is a risk factor for developing more
serious drug abuse and addiction. Risk of drug abuse also increases
greatly during times of transition, such as changing schools, moving,
or divorce. The challenge for parents is to distinguish between the
normal, often volatile, ups and downs of the teen years and the red
flags of substance abuse. These include:
Having bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils; using eye drops to try to mask these signs
Skipping class; declining grades; suddenly getting into trouble at school
Missing money, valuables, or prescriptions
Acting uncharacteristically isolated, withdrawn, angry, or depressed
Dropping one group of friends for another; being secretive about the new peer group
Loss of interest in old hobbies; lying about new interests and activities
Demanding more privacy; locking doors; avoiding eye contact; sneaking around
Getting help for drug abuse and drug addiction
Finding help and support for drug addiction
Visit a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in your area. See Resources & References below.
Call 1-800-662-HELP in the U.S. to reach a free referral helpline from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step
on the road to recovery, one that takes tremendous courage and
strength. Facing your addiction without minimizing the problem or
making excuses can feel frightening and overwhelming, but recovery is
within reach. If you’re ready to make a change and willing to seek
help, you can overcome your addiction and build a satisfying, drug-free
life for yourself.
Support is essential to addiction recovery
Don’t try to go it alone; it’s all too easy to get
discouraged and rationalize “just one more” hit or pill. Whether you
choose to go to rehab, rely on self-help programs, get therapy, or take
a self-directed treatment approach, support is essential. Recovering
from drug addiction is much easier when you have people you can lean on
for encouragement, comfort, and guidance. Support can come from:
family members
close friends
therapists or counselors
other recovering addicts
healthcare providers
people from your faith community
When a loved one has a drug problem
If you suspect that a friend or family member has a drug problem, here are a few things you can do:
Speak up. Talk to the person
about your concerns, and offer your help and support, without being
judgmental. The earlier addiction is treated, the better. Don’t wait
for your loved one to hit bottom! Be prepared for excuses and denial by
listing specific examples of your loved one’s behavior that has you
worried.
Take care of yourself. Don’t get
so caught up in someone else’s drug problem that you neglect your own
needs. Make sure you have people you can talk to and lean on for
support. And stay safe. Don’t put yourself in dangerous situations.
Avoid self-blame. You can support
a person with a substance abuse problem and encourage treatment, but
you can’t force an addict to change. You can’t control your loved one’s
decisions. Let the person accept responsibility for his or her
actions, an essential step along the way to recovery for drug
addiction.
But Don’t
Attempt to punish, threaten, bribe, or preach.
Try to be a martyr. Avoid emotional appeals that may only increase feelings of guilt and the compulsion to use drugs.
Cover up or make excuses for the drug abuser, or shield them from the negative consequences of their behavior.
Take over their responsibilities, leaving them with no sense of importance or dignity.
Hide or throw out drugs.
Argue with the person when they are high.
Take drugs with the drug abuser.
Feel guilty or responsible for another's behavior.
Adapted from: National Clearinghouse for Alcohol & Drug Information
When your teen has a drug problem
Discovering your child uses drugs can generate fear,
confusion, and anger in parents. It’s important to remain calm when
confronting your teen, and only do so when everyone is sober. Explain
your concerns and make it clear that your concern comes from a place of
love. It’s important that your teen feels you are supportive. Five steps parents can take:
Lay down rules and consequences.
Your teen should understand that using drugs comes with specific
consequences. But don’t make hollow threats or set rules that you
cannot enforce. Make sure your spouse agrees with the rules and is
prepared to enforce them.
Monitor your teen’s activity.
Know where your teen goes and who he or she hangs out with. It’s also
important to routinely check potential hiding places for drugs—in
backpacks, between books on a shelf, in DVD cases or make-up cases, for
example. Explain to your teen that this lack of privacy is a
consequence of him or her having been caught using drugs.
Encourage other interests and social activities. Expose your teen to healthy hobbies and activities, such as team sports and afterschool clubs.
Talk to your child about underlying issues.
Drug use can be the result of other problems. Is your child having
trouble fitting in? Has there been a recent major change, like a move
or divorce, which is causing stress?
Get Help. Teenagers often rebel
against their parents but if they hear the same information from a
different authority figure, they may be more inclined to listen. Try a
sports coach, family doctor, therapist, or drug counselor.
Exercise is not just about aerobic capacity and muscle size. Sure,
exercise can improve your health and your physique, trim your waistline,
improve your sex life, and even add years to your life. But that’s not
what motivates most people to stay active. People who exercise regularly
tend to do so because it gives them an enormous sense of well–being.
They feel more energetic throughout the day, sleep better at night, have
sharper memories, and feel more relaxed and positive about themselves
and their lives. And it doesn’t take hours of pumping weights in a gym
or running mile after mile to achieve those results. By focusing on activities you enjoy and tailoring a
regular mild to moderate exercise routine to your needs, you can
experience the health benefits of exercise and improve your own life by:
Easing stress and anxiety. A
twenty-minute bike ride won’t sweep away all of life’s troubles, but
exercising regularly helps you take charge of anxiety and reduce
stress. Aerobic exercise releases hormones that relieve stress and
promote a sense of well-being.
Lifting your mood. Exercise can
treat mild to moderate depression as effectively as antidepressant
medication. Exercise also releases endorphins, powerful chemicals in
your brain that energize your spirits and make you feel good.
Sharpening brainpower. The same
endorphins that make you feel better also help you concentrate and feel
mentally sharp for tasks at hand. Exercise also stimulates the growth
of new brain cells and helps prevent age-related decline.
Improving self-esteem. Regular
activity is an investment in your mind, body, and soul. When it becomes
habit, it can foster your sense of self-worth and make you feel strong
and powerful.
Boosting energy. Increasing your
heart rate several times a week will give you more get-up-and-go. Start
off with just a few minutes of exercise a day, and increase your
workout as you feel more energized.
Obstacles to exercise: What’s holding you back?
Despite all the life-changing benefits, many of us
still think of exercise as a chore, either something that we don’t have
time for, or something that’s only suitable for the young or the
athletic. There are many commonly-held myths about exercise that
make it seem more arduous and painful than it has to be. Overcoming
obstacles to exercise starts with separating fact from fiction.
Why we don’t exercise
“I don’t have enough time to exercise.” Even short low-impact intervals of exercise can act
as a powerful tool to supercharge your health. If you have time for a
15-minute walk with the dog, your body will thank you in many ways. “Exercise is too difficult and painful.” Consider “no pain, no gain” the old fashioned way of
thinking about exercise. Exercise doesn’t have to hurt to be incredibly
effective. You don’t have to push yourself to the limit to get results.
You can build your strength and fitness by walking, swimming, even
playing golf or cleaning the house. “I’m too tired to exercise.” Regular exercise is a powerful pick-me-up that can
significantly reduce fatigue and make you feel much more energetic. If
you’re feeling tired, try taking a brisk walk or dancing to your
favorite music and see how much better you feel afterwards. “I’m too old to start exercising,” “I'm too fat,” or “My health isn’t good enough.” It’s never too late to start building your strength
and physical fitness, even if you’re a senior or a self-confessed couch
potato who has never exercised before. And exercise is a proven
treatment for many diseases—from diabetes to arthritis. Very few health
or weight problems make exercise out of the question, so talk to your
doctor about a safe routine for you. “I’m not athletic.” Do you hide your head when the tennis ball
approaches? Are you stumped at the difference between a foul ball and a
free throw? Join the ranks. Don’t worry if you’re not sporty or
ultra-coordinated. Instead, find an activity like walking, jogging, or
yoga that makes you feel good to be in your body. “Exercise is boring.” Sure, pounding on a treadmill for an hour may not be
everyone’s idea of a good time. But not all exercise has to be boring;
just about everyone can find a physical activity they enjoy. Try
playing ping-pong (table tennis) or activity-based video games with
your kids. So-called “exergames” that are played standing up and moving
around—simulating dancing, skateboarding, soccer, or tennis, for
example—can burn at least as many calories as walking on a treadmill;
some substantially more. Once you build up your confidence, try getting
away from the TV screen and playing the real thing outside.
Reaping the benefits of exercise is easier than you think
To reap the benefits of exercise, you don’t need to
devote hours out your busy day, train at the gym, sweat buckets, or run
mile after monotonous mile. You can reap all the physical and mental
health benefits of exercise with 30-minutes of moderate exercise five
times a week. Two 15-minute exercise sessions can also work just as
well. If that still seems intimidating, don’t despair. Even
just a few minutes of physical activity are better than none at all. If
you don’t have time for 15 or 30 minutes of exercise, or if your body
tells you to take a break after 5 or 10 minutes, for example, that’s
okay, too. Start with 5- or 10-minute sessions and slowly increase your
time. The more you exercise, the more energy you’ll have, so
eventually you’ll feel ready for a little more. The key is to commit to
do some moderate physical activity—however little—on most days. As
exercising becomes habit, you can slowly add extra minutes or try
different types of activities. If you keep at it, the benefits of
exercise will begin to pay off.
Do I need different types of exercise?
While any kind of exercise offers tremendous health
benefits, different types of exercise focus more on certain aspects of
your health. You can concentrate on one type of exercise or mix them up
to add variety to your workouts and broaden the health benefits.
Aerobic activities like running, cycling, and swimming strengthen your heart and increase your endurance.
Strength training like weight
lifting or resistance training builds muscle and bone mass, improves
balance and prevents falls. It’s one of the best counters to frailty in
old age.
Flexibility exercises like stretching and yoga help prevent injury, enhance range of motion, reduce stiffness, and limit aches and pains.
Easy exercise tip 1: Move more in your daily life
If you're not ready to commit to a structured exercise
program, think about physical activity as a lifestyle choice rather
than a single task to check off your to-do list. Look at your daily
routine and consider ways to sneak in activity here and there. Even
very small activities can add up over the course of a day.
In and around your home. Clean the
house, wash the car, tend to the yard and garden, mow the lawn with a
push mower, sweep the sidewalk or patio with a broom.
At work and on the go. Look for
ways to walk or cycle more. For example, bike or walk to an appointment
rather than drive, banish all elevators and use the stairs, briskly
walk to the bus stop then get off one stop early, park at the back of
the lot and walk into the store or office, take a vigorous walk during
your coffee break. Walk while you’re talking on your cell phone.
With friends or family. Walk or jog
around the soccer field during your kid’s practice, make a
neighborhood bike ride part of weekend routine, play tag with your
children in the yard or play exercise video games. Walk the dog
together as a family, or if you don’t have your own dog, volunteer to
walk a dog from a shelter. Organize an office bowling team, take a
class in martial arts, dance, or yoga with a friend or spouse.
Easy exercise tip 2: Start slowly—a little is better than nothing
Exercise doesn’t need to be an all or nothing
commitment. If you haven’t exercised before or you’ve tried an exercise
program in the past and been unable to stick with it, it’s important
not to set unrealistic goals. Committing to exercise for an hour a day
in a gym may be too challenging at first, whereas committing to 10
minutes just three or four times a week is more manageable. Once these
short windows of activity become a habit and you start experiencing the
benefits, it’s easier to progress to the next level.
Tips for getting started in an exercise program
Focus on activities you enjoy. If
you hate jogging, you won’t be able to maintain a jogging program no
matter how good it is for you. On the other hand, if you love to swim,
dance, or play tennis you’ll find it easier to sick with an exercise
program that’s built around those activities.
Take it slow. Start with an
activity you feel comfortable doing, go at your own pace, and keep your
expectations realistic. For example, training for a marathon when
you’ve never run before may be a bit daunting, but you could give
yourself the goal of participating in an upcoming 5k walk for charity.
Focus on short-term goals, such as
improving your mood and energy levels and reducing stress, rather than
goals such as weight loss or increased muscle size, as these can take
longer to achieve.
Make exercise a priority. If you
have trouble fitting exercise into your schedule, consider it an
important appointment with yourself and mark it on your daily agenda.
Commit to an exercise schedule for at least 3 or 4 weeks so that it
becomes habit, and force yourself to stick with it. Even the busiest
amongst us can find a 10-minute slot to pace up and down an office
staircase or take the dog for a walk.
Go easy on yourself. Do you feel bad about your body?Instead
of being your own worst critic, try a new way of thinking about your
body. No matter what your weight, age, or fitness level, there are
others like you with the same goal of exercising more. Try surrounding
yourself with people in your shoes. Take a class with others of a
similar fitness level. Accomplishing even the smallest fitness goals
will help you gain body confidence.
Expect ups and downs. Don’t be
discouraged if you skip a few days or even a few weeks. It happens. Just
get started again and slowly build up to your old momentum.
Easy exercise tip 3: Make exercise fun
You are more likely to exercise if you find enjoyable,
convenient activities. Give some thought to your likes and dislikes,
and remember that preferences can change over time.
Pair an activity you enjoy with your exercise
There are numerous activities that qualify as exercise. The trick is
to find something you enjoy that forces you to be active. Pairing
exercise with another activity makes it easier and more fun. Simple
examples include:
Blast some favorite music and dance with your kids.
Make a deal with yourself to watch your favorite TV shows while on the treadmill or stationary bike.
Workout with a buddy, and afterwards enjoy coffee or a movie.
Enjoy outdoor activities such as golf, playing Frisbee, or even yard work or gardening.
Make exercise a social activity
Exercise can be a fun time to socialize with friends
and working out with others can help keep you motivated. For those who
enjoy company but dislike competition, a running club, water aerobics,
or dance class may be the perfect thing. Others may find that a little
healthy competition keeps the workout fun and exciting. You might seek
out tennis partners, join an adult soccer league, find a regular pickup
basketball game, or join a volleyball team. For many, a workout partner can be a great motivator.
For example, if you won’t get out of bed to swim yourself, but you
would never cancel on a friend, find a swim buddy.
Easy exercise tip 4: Stay motivated
No matter how much you enjoy an exercise routine, you
may find that you eventually lose interest in it. That’s the time to
shake things up and try something new, add other activities to your
exercise program, or alter the way you pursue the exercises that have
worked so far.
Set yourself goals and rewards
Rewarding yourself for reaching an exercise goal is one
of the best ways to stay motivated. Set an achievable goal regarding
your participation and effort, not necessarily how much weight you can
lift, miles you can bike, or pounds you can lose lost. If you stumble
in your efforts, regroup and begin again. Reward yourself when you
reach your goals—a new pair of shoes, a dinner out, whatever works to
motivate you.
Other ways to keep your exercise program going
Be consistent. Make your workouts
habitual by exercising at the same time every day, if possible.
Eventually you will get to the point where you feel worse if you don’t
exercise. That dull, sluggish feeling fitness buffs get when they don’t
work out is a strong incentive to get up and go.
Record your progress. Try keeping
an exercise journal of your workouts. In a matter of months, it will be
fun to look back at where you began. Keeping a log also holds you
accountable to your routine.
Keep it interesting. Think of your
exercise session as time dedicated to you. Enjoy that time by listening
to music, chatting with friends, and varying locations. Exercise
around natural beauty, new neighborhoods, and special parks.
Spread the word. Talking to others
about your fitness routines will help keep motivation strong and hold
you accountable to your exercise program. You’ll be delighted and
inspired hearing ways your friends and colleagues stay active and on
track.
Get inspired. Read a health and
fitness magazine or visit an exercise website and get inspired with
photos of people being active. Sometimes reading about and looking at
images of people who are healthy and fit can motivate you to move your
body.
